December 7th, 2020

So today was rough. I just made this blog and so basically this is my day one. I went to the doctors office today and had to face the truth of how my health is really doing. My A1C is at 10.1 which is the highest its ever been. When I heard that number my heart kind of dropped. I know that I haven't been taking care of myself of checking my blood sugar as often as I should. moment of truth,, I went like 7 days without checking myself because I couldn't even find the motivation to prick my finger. I know that I cant ever do that again. For more context I also struggle with depression and anxiety so its even more of struggle to take care of myself when Im going through my depressive episodes. Not an excuse but just the truth. So my doctor just made me realize that I've unconsciously been putting diabetes in the back of my mind and trying to ignore it hoping that it will just go away. and she's not wrong. I have been doing that. Ive been living with this chronic illness for so long that sometimes it just becomes so tiring to do this 24/7. But today was a wakeup call for the reality of my situation regarding my health. So I am going to start writing daily entries on here to motivate myself and so that I can look back and be proud of my progress! So my first order of business is to call my insurance company and order more dexcom transmitters and applicators. I am also planning on writing every single bolus and blood sugar on those little sheets that they give you when you are starting out because I just feel like I need to go back to basics for a little and really create a visual tracker for may numbers, because sometimes with all the technology I go into autopilot with everything and that's when the problems worsen. So I am thinking that if I go back to writing all my data I can see where I need help and where I am doing okay. So i guess that's it for today! I am going to be posting tomorrow updating on my first day of writing everything down, and check in on how the ordering process went for my dexcom. 

see ya tomorrow :)